USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

“I’ll leave you alone as soon as you admit it. Come on, Zoe. You’re not so perfect. Let me hear you say you want me dead and I’ll leave you alone. Just say it. I know it, you know it, just admit it and I’ll be out of your hair. It’s not that hard. Just repeat after me: Connor, I want you to kill yourself,” he said calmly. If he just heard her say it, he would feel more confident in following through this time. He could do something to finally make his sister happy. Just for once before he left for good. Now, he didn’t know how exactly he was gonna do it or even where, he just knew it wouldn’t be in the house. He’d probably pop some of the pills his dealer gave him and if that didn’t work, just hang himself or slit his wrists, vertically instead of horizontally this time. Let more blood pour out and make it more difficult to stitch up just in case they found him before he was dead.

_{there was a long moment of silence as she contemplated just listening to him.}

_{it would be a good thing, she told herself, if he was gone. if her saying that she wanted him dead was the only thing holding him back, she should just say it && wait it out. but she couldn’t do it. her mouth even opened in an attempt to force the words out in the same way that she had bowed over the toilet with an open jaw in case she should succumb to the feeling of bile rising in her throat when sick. just like then, there was nothing. even after everything he had done, she couldn’t damn connor like that. each time she tried some happy childhood memory would pop up like a warning, reminding her that perhaps he had the capacity to be good again, && she would gag.}

_{curled in on herself with the threat of tears burning behind closed eyes, zoe shook her head. ❝—- i can’t. ❞}