USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

“Now that you’re this close to me, I can see your beautiful face,” he said with a smile before leaning forward to kiss her, blushing as he began to get hard, just by having her on his lap. If felt nice, she felt nice, this close now, he could see that she looked nice, too. “Do you want to take your shirt off now or something? Or do you want to wait a bit longer?”

_{zoe could hardly restrain the wide smile that threatened to spread across her face when he pulled away from the kiss. her heart felt like it could beat through her chest. ❝—- && when exactly did my boyfriend get so smooth ? what have you done with evan ? ❞ fingers carded through evan’s hair as she shifted in his lap. he was slowly but surely becoming more sure of himself, a definite accomplishment that left her beaming with pride.}

_{❝—- yeah – okay. ❞ nerves caused her to hesitate for a few milliseconds, then zoe took in a deep breath && pulled her shirt off, only to discard it over the edge of the bed. her hands rested over evan’s chest && she watched his face with wide eyes in anticipation of some reaction.}

USER ⌜ᵉᵛᵃⁿᵃˢᵉⁿ⌟

✦ —- ❝worried? me? n-no way why would i be?❞ he said, almost sounding defensive before shaking his head. ❝it’s fine. really.❞ and he reached out to hold her hand, gentle yet a bit unsure. even after all this time he was still testing the waters. ❝besides, this is our time – meaning no thinking about the project and all that.❞ he smiled, ❝right now, it’s only us.❞

_{she didn’t buy it – how could she when it sounded like he was trying to convince even himself ? – but at the same time knew evan was right : this was their time. she was only concerned that he wouldn’t be able to clear from his mind whatever thought was tormenting him about the project. calloused digits curled through the space between evan’s && she rested their joined hands against her thigh. ❝—- if you start acting all distracted && weird i’m gonna remind you that you said that. ❞ zoe’s lips tilted upwards, the right side higher, as it always was, && she pecked his cheek before standing from the bed. ❝—- come on, let’s get out of here. ❞}

USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

“I know it can’t go back to the way it was, but I want to try to fix everything I’ve broken. I’m not gonna ask you to forget the last few years, I was a dick to you and you shouldn’t have to forget about that. I just want to try to be the brother you want me to be so we can look back on those years down the line and be like “wow, I’m so glad I decided to turn my life around.” Because if it keeps going like this I know you’ll probably never talk to me again after I move out and I don’t want that. You’re the best little sister I could ask for and it would fucking suck for you to disappear from my life. I have so many things I wish I knew how to tell you without coming off like a pussy,“ he joked softly. “I don’t know how I would even start, either.”

_{zoe’s hand trembled as she placed it over her brother’s. ❝—- it’s going to be a long time before i can trust you again, connor. i just want you to remember that. ❞ years, surely, for them to rebuild their shattered relationship. years for scars both figurative && literal to fade away.}

_{she drew back only to let down the guard rail, careful not to upset the jungle of wiring && tubing, && sat on the edge of the bed. ❝—- i think you’re a pussy anyways. ❞ a tiny smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. she wanted to hear everything. it might help, she thought – just a little. ❝—- could you tell me ? ❞}

USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

Evan seemed to be quite enjoying this and many times thanked his lucky stars that the lights were off, as even just being told he was beautiful made him start blushing deeply and he didn’t want Zoe to see him looking that flustered. “Thanks. Like I can’t see you that well, but I know you’re looking beautiful because you’re you. That’s really cheesy, but I mean it.”

_{a warm laugh rang from her lips, forehead resting against evan’s own. how on earth did she deserve some nerd as sweet as this ? a leg wrapped over him && she sat up on his hips, shifting about to settle comfortably against him. ❝—- if you can’t see, then feel your way through. ❞ hands claimed evan’s && guided them to her waist as zoe bit her lip to restrain a smile.}

USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

Evan let out a small moan at even the smallest, gentlest nip. Zoe knew he was sensitive there and was using it to her advantage, which he enjoyed a lot more than he thought he would. He pulled away briefly, long enough to pull off his shirt and check to make sure his door was closed all the way just in case his mom woke up and wanted to leave her room to get a glass of milk or something.

_{a hand rested against his chest as she drew back, observing him with wide eyes. it was difficult to make out much in the dim light, but even the suggestion of his outline left her breathless. ❝—- you’re beautiful, ❞ zoe whispered. she peppered kisses over bare skin, returning to peck his lips or gently grazing evan with her teeth every now && again.} 

USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

Evan wasn’t sure what to make of the kisses on his neck, all he knew was that he at least somewhat enjoyed the feeling. His heart was beating fast with nervousness, but he tried his best to ignore it. He gently began playing with her hair as she kissed him, soon discovering that he was, in all actuality, super into the neck kisses. Maybe it would have been different with someone who wasn’t Zoe, he didn’t care enough to think about it.

_{she kept her movements slow && measured, easing evan into the situation with great care. once her lips reached the point that she knew would be covered by his collar she gave him a small nip – zoe was well aware that he was sensitive enough to demand caution with anything that could potentially leave a mark. her hand wandered down to tug on the bottom of his shirt, silently asking if it would be alright for her to remove it.}

USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

Connor laughed softly, rubbing her back. “I know my word counts for jack shit anymore, but I’m so sorry for every time I pushed you or hit you and I get if you don’t want to give me another chance, but since I got another shot at living, I figured maybe this time I can try to be the brother you deserve. Play video games together, I can help you with your homework, all that brotherly shit. The doctors prescribed me stuff for my depression and something to level out my mood. What I’m saying is, if you’d let me, I want to be there for you,” he said softly. “Hell, I’ll even pinky swear on it.” All he wanted was to be a part of her life again, not a bad part, but the part she needed, just like a friend to always be there for her, who understood what their parents could be like sometimes.

_{she wanted to believe him. god, she couldn’t count the times she had wished things would change. but she couldn’t just trust him again out of the blue – this wasn’t something that would change overnight, not now that her faith in connor had worn so thin. she was terrified that this was just another sadistic trick.}

_{zoe’s fingers ran through his hair as she ruminated on his words for a long few moments. ❝—- you know everything can’t just suddenly go back to the way it was, right ? ❞ her voice was small, terrified of upsetting her brother again when he was already in such a fragile state. she rubbed her face against his hair to wipe away the tears streaking her cheeks. ❝—- i want it to. but i can’t just… pretend the last several years didn’t happen. ❞}

USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

“I’m totally okay with that. 100%. For sure,” he responded quickly, obviously super eager about this proposition. “I’ve never really done anything like this before so I’m probably gonna disappoint you, but I mean- I’ll give it my best.” Evan was clearly very nervous about fucking this up, but he wanted to try. It was time to do something new and different, and as scary as it was, he felt better knowing Zoe would help him through it.

_{she couldn’t help but beam with excitement at evan’s fervent response to the proposition. ❝—- i haven’t either. i’m sure you’ll be fine. ❞ kisses pressed to his neck in a slow downwards trail, her eyes slipping shut. zoe could feel his pulse racing against her lips. ❝—- just tell me if i do anything you don’t like, okay ? ❞ though she knew that his palm was growing damp, she guided evan’s hand to her hair after brushing her lips against his knuckles.}

USER ⌜ʷ⁻ᵒ⁻ʳ⁻ᵈ⁻ˢ⁻⁻ᶠ⁻ᵃ⁻ᶦ⁻ˡ⌟

“So, what did- what did you have in mind for stuff you wanted to do when you got here,” he asked, almost completely oblivious to the fact she wanted his body right now. There was the thought in the back of his mind, but he never really thought it to be a reality. Zoe was beyond perfect to him, and like super attractive too.

_{zoe’s head lifted to allow her to look up at him, flashing a little tilted smile. ❝—- you, mostly. ❞ most people who had been dating for as long as they had would have had sex ages ago. she just hadn’t wanted to push evan ( or herself, for that matter. ) now, though… if he was ready, so was zoe. she bumped her nose against his jaw && lifted a hand to fidget with the collar of his shirt. ❝—- would that be okay ? ❞}

✕
@fakedself

_{a brow arches as zoe watches from above. ❝—- i know. i saw him disappear in a cloud of smoke. ❞ she doesn’t see why it would matter if it had been connor or not – unlike her brother, she isn’t entirely self absorbed. but, just as it always had, her life must revolve around being the crazy kid’s sister. did anyone even know her name, or was she always just “ the other murphy ? ”}

_{her head shakes && she dips down, a hand lightly grasping jared’s arm, to help him to his feet. ❝—- are you okay ? ❞ eyes flicker downwards to the scratches, gravel still firmly embedded in some of them, && she crinkles her nose as a twinge of empathic pain runs down her own legs. ❝—- some of those look pretty deep… ❞}